I'm gonna write and write and write and it's gonna be awesome. And everyone who ever told me to "update your fucking blog already" is gonna be sorry, because its gonna be so fantastically funny and moving and tearjerking and harrowing and disgusting and epic and bizarre. You won't be able to finish it in one sitting, you'll have to read it in spurts, steeling yourself to muster the courage to go on, to spin the wheel of that annoying mouse as you scroll down to plumb the depths of my creative genius. On and on it will go, words jumping off your monitor, coffee and bagel spit takes aplenty as I change your fucking life with the gems I'm going to be giving away for free in this space. I will get elventy billion hits, I will sell ads for similar, but markedly inferior, blogs, I will retire a wealthy man. I will dabble in eccentricity, I will grow strange facial hair, I will surround myself with youthful hangers on, I will experiment with homosexuality, I will write a shitty book about an obscure subject no one cares about, I will shoot myself in the face.
But I'll probably wait until tomorrow to start, because right now I got nothing.
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3 comments:
well, at least you got the homosexual experience out of the way
wut?
I laughed so hard, i cried
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