Thursday, June 01, 2006

I'm In Love With A Man Named Albert Pujols

I'm an enormous baseball fan. I wrote this for another place, but I'm posting it here because I like it. A lot of the numbers will go over your head if you don't like baseball, but you might appreciate the part at the end. Then again you might not. Sorry, but nothing embarrassing has happened to me today. Then again, it's only 10:00Am.

One of the most amazing stats about Albert Pujols is his remarkable consistency. In his first five full (2001-2005) seasons he has the following total number of at bats: 590, 590, 591, 592, 591. Barring injury, I’d venture it’s safe to assume he will get 590 at bats this season.

If he continues at his current pace, Pujols will hit 82 home runs, score 169 runs and drive in 215 more (numbers rounded down). In addition to breaking the home run record of 73 set by Barry Bonds in 2001, he will also demolish the RBI record of 191 set by Hack Wilson in 1930. He will not eclipse the single season runs scored record, set by Billy Hamilton in 1894 with 192. Pujols would end up third on the all time runs list, scoring the most runs since Babe Ruth’s total of 177 in 1921.

At the risk of sounding too partial, I should also point out that Pujols’ batting average is down considerably this season. If he continues at his current pace he will only hit .315. His steals are down as well, as he is on pace for only 6 this season. He can perhaps be forgiven for that one, as there is no need to steal second base when you’re jogging past it on your way toward home.

I’m not naïve enough to suggest that Pujols will continue his torrid pace. But I do think he is a legitimate threat to the hallowed Hack Wilson RBI record and the steroid-inflated Bonds home run mark. The runs record may be out of reach, but Pujols is lined up to smash the record for the modern era.

Buster Olney’s column from the June 5th ESPN Magazine raises the suspicion that Pujols’ numbers are the product of steroids. It’s a reasonable assumption given the apparent widespread use of steroids in professional baseball. There are currently no tests for human growth hormone (HGH), and it’s certainly plausible (probable, in fact) that professional baseball players have merely switched to HGH and other steroids that are undetectable under MLB’s laughable drug testing program.

My question to Olney is: Who cares?

Which would you prefer, Sosa and McGwire dueling for the home run crown in 1998, or Mike Schmidt swatting a league-high 31 in 1981? Chicks aren’t the only ones that dig the long ball. If we’re going to assume a large number of baseball players are dirty (and honestly, isn’t it time we do?), then it’s safe to assume they’re not going to change. As Olney points out, we’re not beyond the age of steroids in baseball- we’ve only just begun. I, for one, am not disappointed. If steroids are helping Alfonso Soriano hit home runs in cavernous RFK Stadium, then more power to him. If Albert Pujols’ numbers came from a lab, how can you blame him? He’s no more tainted than anyone else, he’s just got the right combination of ability and chemical engineering. So keep swinging Albert, we will all keep watching. We’re all in this together and we’re all guilty. My advice to Olney and the other critics is to come down from their high horse, because this is pretty exciting.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

"won't somebody please think of the children?"

bryc3 said...

personally i like the idea of a race of roid'ed up super children. as long as we can find a way to keep them in bondage, i see no problem with it. this lawn ain't exactly mowing itself.

i should point out that pujols went out with a relatively serious injury less than a week after i posted this. he will miss a big chunk of the season and won't break any records. he will, however, break my fucking neck if he ever finds out i jinxed him.