This is a common misconception. I can't say I blame people for believing it, because I have this habit of bitching about everything that ever happens to me ever. Lately I've come to realize just how much I bitch, and I've taken to bitching about how much I bitch. Everyone is good at something, and I have mastered complaining.
Thing is, I'm honestly not an unhappy person. Really. In fact, I'm strangely happy almost all of the time. I actually don't mind getting up in the morning, don't mind getting ready for work, don't even mind taking the Metro.
Yet if you listen to me, it sounds like I've got the barrel in my mouth and my toe on the trigger.
The more I've thought about it, the more I've come to believe that the bitching is my avenue for letting everything out. I tend to have rotten luck about a lot of things, things that would probably get most people really down. So I complain about them. And after a while, they don't seem so bad. In fact, they usually end up being funny. I tell a story about a bird shitting on my head on the way to the grocery store that has no products on its shelves and I've got a hangover and my medicine isn't ready at the pharmacy and the woman in line in front of us is arguing with the checkout lady like the price of Twinkies is fucking negotiable (this really happened the other day), and I feel better. The person hearing the story laughs, I laugh, and everything is okay.
Or is it? Because sometimes I catch myself complaining and I realize, 'This person just asked you how you've been, and you've been bitching for five minutes and haven't let them get a word in edgewise.' I do this kinda thing all the goddamn time. I forget they don't really want to know how I've been, they're just making conversation trying to be polite. Or they want to hear that everything is good, and how have you been? But I jump all over that question. I honestly answer it. 'I've been sucky, because...and then...which made me...can you fucking believe that?'
So just bear with me. It's my catharsis. Baby noticed from the get-go that when I'm really angry I don't say anything at all. I just sit there and stew, waiting to explode. If I'm complaining, it means I'm just trying to make myself feel better. And it will work. It might make you miserable in the meantime, but then you can just go bitch to someone til you feel better. See? Everybody wins.
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