Monday, January 09, 2006

You're Always Going To Work In Admin, So Just Get To The Fucking Point Already

It has been brought to our attention that, through the use of interoffice memos, emails, and announcements on the bulletin board, that, some of you it seems, are finding yourselves in a state in which you feel as if it is appropriate, necessary, or perhaps even beneficial to use, wherever possible, as many words (and commas, and ellipses, and the ever-confounding and dreaded semi-colon) as possible to convey, express, or describe a situation, feeling, or idea that could, and probably be should, be spit the fuck out in ten words or fewer so we can get on with our day.

"Typing is fun! I sit here and push the little buttons with the little letters on them and they show up on my screen! I get to, you know, like, express myself, and stuff."

I'm loading my gun.

Look I'm not going to kid anyone. If you get me talking it's quite possible that I will never shut up. I can literally talk until I have nothing more to say. I don't mean the subject has been exhausted. I mean everything that has ever happened to me and everyone I have ever known has been exhausted. This is just one of my charms (read: character flaws). But in the course of a human conversation you can pick up the subtle context clues (blood streaming from the ears is my favorite) that it's probably best to get back to work.

Written communication at work is meant to be digested quickly. I need you to tell me "The building is on fire. Please use the South exit." See how easy that is? Concise, efficient, necessary. No creative license. And look! I'm not on fire!

Let's talk promotion.

6 comments:

Lady Tiara said...

i hate this kind of thing so much. i am continuously enraged by the verbiage that gets spewed out in work emails. why would anyone use "we will endeavor to inform you of a decision in an expeditious manner" when you could simply say "we'll let you know as soon as possible"?

Anonymous said...

Going from your RFK stadium reference in an earlier post, I'll assume you are a skins fan... as crazy as that sounds.

Concise? ok

Seahawks > Redskins this weekend. :D

Love your blog

bryc3 said...

welcome plash. and thanks for the other comments on the other posts.

yes, i'm a diehard skins fan. in fact, my father was a photographer for the skins when i was a kid (daddy #2, to be exact).

with that being said:

gtfo seahawks

number of clutch games won by the seahawks in franchise history? zero

number of clutch games won by the redskins in the past six weeks? six

Anonymous said...

Well.. their defense does step up.. I'll give them that.

We got God on our side though, how else do you explain that game against the Giants?

As far as clutch.. I'll give you the TB/Dallas/Giants games... but Arizona/Philly were rollover games.

You stand no chance, gogo 120 total yards!

Anonymous said...

*Cough*

bryc3 said...

yeah well shut up