Friday, January 06, 2006

Fag It Out, Bitch

I’m gay.

And not in a cool homosexual way. No cute boyfriend, no shaved head, no hardbody, no Jetta. No, I’m gay in a Steven Cojocaru kind of way. My gayness is only exacerbated by the fact that I know who Steven Cojocaru is.

There was a time in my life when I was at least somewhat manly. I used to build things, I used to play sports, I used to own a pair of Timberlands for outdoor work, not hip hop video cameos. Yeah, those days are gone.

In the last year I’ve gotten contacts, dyed my hair, bought clothes that are size Medium, experimented with various hair care products, started using a facial moisturizer, and even eaten a handful of vegetables.

I could take the easy way out and blame my girlfriend. But who am I kidding? I’ve put up the minimum amount of resistance possible in her efforts to make me more fabulous. Turns out getting in touch with my feminine side was a lot easier than I originally thought. I’m positive that I’m only a few weeks away from finding a nice cowboy and settling down.
So this is me coming out of the closet. I’ve been in here all morning throwing away band t-shirts and color-coding my wardrobe. Fuck! Entertainment Tonight is on in fifteen minutes! Where does the time go?

5 comments:

Kathryn Is So Over said...

How does this soft outer shell go with hardcore angry bryc3? Does it just make your wrath that much more surprising and brutal?

bryc3 said...

the new bryc3 kicks your ass but looks good doing it.

then he goes home and has a good cry.

Lady Tiara said...

and you dare to mock my waning punk rock cred? just sayin', s'all.

i did figure something was up when i noticed the hair, but i tried to tell myself that it wasn't dyed, it's just that i usually see you in such dim, smoky light that i don't know what your real color is. i tried, but it didn't work.

Tara B Moore said...

HAHAH I love gay straight men. LOVE THEM! but there is really no need to throw away the band t-shirts. try making a quilt out of them instead ;)

bryc3 said...

welcome, miss bliss :)