Contrary to what you might have heard, I don't have any game. None. I have absolutely no idea how to pick up women. No clue. I've always done the friends first, dates later approach. Never in my life have I had the courage to just walk up to a girl and talk to her. I always have some other way in, usually being introduced by a friend or something like that. I'm trying to remember, but I'm fairly sure I have never gotten a girl's phone number at a bar. I certainly know I've never asked for one.
It's not like I have any interest in meeting women right now. Don't get me wrong. I'm gay for Baby on levels that are far too embarrassing to even talk about. But I've come to realize, now more than ever, that if I ever have to try to pick up a woman again, I'm fucked.
Baby has cleaned me up a lot. She convinced me to grow my hair out, get contacts, and buy some clothes that fit. I fought it tooth and nail, but she was right. Something she did is working, because more women look at me now than ever did before. I always kinda figured I would never be that guy that catches anyone's attention. I'm ok once I get to talking and telling funny stories and all, but I'd given up on ever being that guy a woman sees and decides she wants to talk to. I'm not all banged up or anything, but I'm certainly not hot. But Baby has shown me how to fake it, and I'll be damned if it doesn't work.
But that leads me to the problem. What the hell are you supposed to do when you see the girl is looking at you? If I pass a woman on the Metro platform, and I see she is looking at me, what do I do? I know I know, I have a girlfriend. So of course I'm not going to do anything. That's not what I mean. What I mean is, what does that cool guy that gets all the chicks do in that situation? Smile? Look disinterested? Whip it out? I honestly have no idea.
It's even worse in a bar. Even back before Baby did what she did, I would occasionally make eye contact with a cute girl. But I could never muster the courage to go talk to her. Ever. I could never come up with anything that didn't sound hopelessly cheesy or obviously suggestive. I'm not the kind of guy that can deliver a line. What is an average guy supposed to do? Woman say they're looking for a nice guy, but everyone knows that's not true. Because each of us can name 10 nice guys we know that never get laid. And then we can name 10 assholes we know that go home with a different girl every weekend.
What I want to know is, what does the girl in the bar want to hear? And I don't mean the sorority type with aspirations of landing a man with a crew cut. I'm talking about the intelligent, funny, charming women. I can tell you this much- they don't want you to just smile and look away, embarrassed. Because I've been trying that approach my entire adult life and it's gotten me nowhere.
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6 comments:
You say, "You need a guy who's gonna treat you like a rose."
- don't even need to sign my name
i wouldn't say you're not hot. i mean, you're not not hot.
I'd go with "whip it out." You want to exude that confidence that says "I know you want to do it with me," and I can't think of a better way to send that message.
(OK, there, I commented like I said I would. Don't come crying to me if it wasn't clever enough.)
K.
poster number one is my friend steve, who once decided that he would tell girls his name was stefan in hopes that would get him more action.
LT- i'm not not flattered.
K- i'm inclined to agree with you. and clever replies are not necessary. see LT's example. flattery will get you everywhere.
touché.
at least i didn't sink as low as our indian friends who would fight over who got to be "Malik" before going into the club.
-stefan
ah, the indian friends. how have i never written about the party at satish's house, and the greatest story ever told?
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