Friday, September 23, 2005

This Stupid Job Is The Reason Why I'm Broke, Dick

People like the stories where I do something stupid and everyone points and laughs at me. I usually like those, too. But today people are probably pointing and laughing at me at work, and I don't think it's the slightest bit funny.

I work in a giant maze of cubicles. Clients never visit our office, we go see them. The atmosphere is generally relaxed. The employees have lobbied for years to loosen up the dress code to the point where they can wear jeans to work, but management is steadfast. I honestly don't care one way or the other. Sure, it would be nice to dress down sometimes, but khakis and a polo shirt is not exactly a three piece suit. And frankly, I don't want to see some of these fat asses in their relaxed fit denim monstrosities.

About a week ago management started a campaign to raise money for Katrina relief. The company offered to match donations dollar for dollar, and to sweeten the deal they handed out free 'tokens' for every ten dollars you gave. Tokens could be exchanged for the special privilege of wearing jeans to work any Friday between now and the end of the year. Naturally everyone gave and got tokens, so now we essentially have casual Fridays through the end of the year.

Well, not everybody.

You see, I didn't have any fucking money to give. I'm flat broke. I'm practically a charity case myself. So I just avoided all discussions about the charity campaign last week. I figured it would be over once they stopped with the pep rallies and the email campaign. Wrong. I keep getting asked why I'm not wearing jeans. People are genuinely amazed. It's as if I'm wearing no pants at all.

This morning I went with the very lame excuse of "I already gave before the campaign started." A downright lie, and one I'm not proud of. I've got no qualms about not giving, because I know I would have had I had the money. I also know I would have given immediately, rather than wait two weeks like my coworkers did. But as the day has worn on I've grown progressively defensive. Now I am defiant. "You can't give money to charity when you've got no money to give." Take that.

So I'm feeling pretty resentful. Pretty resentful that the precious allure of blue jeans is what it takes to get people to open their wallets. Pretty resentful that I'm made to look like Scrooge because I can't afford to give anything. And pretty resentful that the company would do something so tacky. This is not exactly altruism at work here. I feel humiliated, but I'm sure glad everyone is comfortable with their shirts untucked.

7 comments:

Lady Tiara said...

this is really awful. it's fine if companies want to provide an opportunity to donate, but there should be no pressure. i really prefer to give to charity on my own terms, and when there is pressure or rewards from the company, are people really giving for the right reasons? and honestly, is it that different to wear jeans or khakis? like you said, it's not as though you have a serious dress code to begin with. i also worked for a place that did a United Way campaign. there was major pressure to give, and i really resented it.

bryc3 said...

alison- i laughed out loud about donating my jeans to the red cross. good one. :)

when i worked as a blood donor recruiter for the red cross we were acutely aware of the slippery slope of recognizing donors. in that industry, giving gifts (such as raffle entries for cars, trips, etc) can be dangerous, because donors might be encouraged to be less than truthful in the screening process in order to give to get a chance to win. the solution there is to enter all those who attempt to give a chance to win. that way, you're rewarding the intent to be charitable, and not solely focusing on the outcome. i'm not sure exactly how that ties in with my current situation at work, but i felt a whole let better about those campaigns than i do about our current form of 'charity.'

Kathryn Is So Over said...

Have you ever complained about not being able to wear jeans at work? If no, you could have said (with a slight sneer) you don't wear jeans, and that you gave without the desire for a reward. Watch them wither.

Other option - wear jeans anyway and see who has the balls to ask you for a token.

Eddie said...

hey, there's no shame in not having any money.
fuck, living up here would break the bank account of just about any well off person from anywhere else in the states.

anyway, i bet that there's some loophole in the system, and if just about everyone is wearing jeans, no one will notice that you don't have a token, or whatever.

i mean, seriously, is somone at the door on friday mornings when you come in taking tokens?

even so, then what? do you have a wrist band that you get saying that you already paid your token, so that you have ins/outs?

screw that, just wear jeans this week and see if anyone gives you shit.
of course, if you've already blown your cover, then.... oh well.

bryc3 said...

the general consensus seems to be that i should wear jeans, but i've got to tell you i don't think i have the balls to do it.

i'm not a chickenshit by any means, and i don't shy away from conflict. i just think i'd feel awfully stupid if i got busted.

god damn it, i guess i am a chickenshit.

Washington Cube said...

This whole thing is so twisted. I get tired of the "my child is selling..." spiels, or any other variation of corporate chokeholds to get money out of you.

I agree with the others thoughts on this. The purpose of the fundraising gets strangled in it's usage.

Washington Cube Was Here. #223

bryc3 said...

the plot on this one thickens. my boss instituted a contest based on our quota, and the prize is three of those stickers that let me wear jeans to work. i haven't won it yet but i'm going to. THEN what am i supposed to do?