Work Is Not For Sex Talk

I don't get along with my boss. I've only had this job for about four months, but in that time she has made it clear that she simply does not like me. My coworkers have commented that she appears to have it in for me, but no one can really tell why. Because I aim to please, I have tried everything I can think of to make her happy. I bust my ass, I produce a ton of work, and nothing seems to be enough. At this point I have just given up. You can't please all of the people all of the time, and this is one of those situations.

I am continually amazed at her complete lack of professionalism. My company is growing very rapidly, and in that growth they have promoted a number of people out of necessity. This is the only explanation as to why someone with no apparent managerial skill could have been placed in a management position. She came to my company directly out of college, when the firm had only a few dozen people. Now, four years later, we number over 150 and she finds herself a manager at 25 years old. It is this kind of dedication and commitment to its employees that makes me like my company, but at some point loyalty should give way to sound business practices. Management is a skill that must be developed, and this woman is in over her head.

Beyond the professionalism, it's apparent that Boss and I are two very different people. She is the absolute prototype suburban twentysomething. Business degree from Virginia Tech? Check. Sorority? Check. Townhouse? Check. Fiance? Check. Volkswagon Passat? Check. Bush/Cheney bumpersticker? Check. Vacation in Nags Head? Check. I abhor the kind of person that she is, but I keep that all in. I've got a job to do, and I try to make nice.

What makes the situation worse is that she tries to be friends with me, in a superficial and deliberate way. It's obvious that being The Boss doesn't sit well with her sometimes (although I'm sure that sometimes she LOVES it), so being chummy helps her feel better about herself when she bitches at me. She tries to make small talk to show me what a nice person she is, and how concerned she is about me. But by doing that she only demonstrates how different we are. Two examples of why Boss and I do not and will not ever get along:

1) My fellow employees are all very young. This is one of the things I like about my job. I'd say the average age is 30, tops. Because of this, hangovers are a badge of honor. I'm glad I have realized this. Drinking makes me job so much easier. It's perfectly acceptable to talk about how drunk you were the night before. One morning in a meeting Boss makes a comment about the stamp I have neglected to wash off my hand, and I explain that it's from a bar called the Black Cat. She's never heard of it, and I say, "It's like the 9:30 club kinda, but only smaller." She says, "What's the 9:30 club?" This woman has lived in the Virginia suburbs for five years, from ages 21 to 25. If you don't know what the 9:30 is, you and I really don't have much to talk about.

2) My team consists of Boss, me, and J, a senior-level staffer that ranks between us. One day after I had been on the job about a month we are sitting around in a conference room after a meeting, bullshitting. J and Boss are friends, or at least Boss thinks so. J actually cannot stand Boss, but has learned that kissing her ass can be very beneficial, hence the promotion to senior level. J and Boss are talking about Boss' wedding (let me tell you how much I love hearing about her wedding every day) when Boss gets an IM from someone. She has her laptop plugged into the projector, so J and I can both see what she is typing. Boss is surprised, because the person on the other end is an old boyfriend, someone she had a thing with in college. At this point Boss should have ended the meeting or at least turned the fucking projector off, but instead she starts giving us uncomfortable details about the poor bastard. She also tells us that she wants to find out good gossip to tell her friends. She proceeds to ask pointed questions to find out things like: How much money is he making? Does he own his house, or is he only renting? He's recently gotten married and had a baby, was the wife pregnant when they got married? She is doing all this conniving shit directly in front of me and J, and we cannot escape. This is the kind of person Boss is.

So lately the people that sit near me have taken to making fun of me about this Friend that I have been hanging out with recently. They tease me that my Friend is really more than my friend, and people laugh when I assure them that we're just friends. I'm always going on about plans with the Friend, or what I did last night with the Friend, or blah blah blah. My co-workers tease me about it, but they don't pry. It's all in good fun. Unfortunately the Boss has a little less tact.

Before a meeting on Friday, Boss was talking about her plans for the weekend. These involve planning something about the wedding or something, something I don't care at all about. She asks me what I'm doing, and she says, "Are you going out with your...friend?" in a very condescending way. At this point, J walks in. I say that I am, and she asks "So what's the deal with just being 'friends' anyway?" I sorta shrug my shoulders and don't really say anything, and then she asks, "Are you sleeping together?"

!

It is true that I have a very laidback office, where personal lives are often discussed openly. But this is just none of her goddamn business. I am obviously very put off by the question, because Boss turns to J and says, "Oh look! I made him uncomfortable!" She is happy about this. J is mortified. But what can I do? I just don't answer.

There are a thousand ethical issues here. For starters it's an inappropriate question to ask someone at work. It's also blatant sexual harassment. And if she were a man and I were a woman, it would probably be grounds for termination. It's also complicated because she has been with the firm forever, and has friends in high places. If I were to make a fuss about this, I would have to take it up with her pals. If they reprimand her, she will make my life hell as she already doesn't like me. If they reassign me, she will gossip all over the office and I will be even more ostracized.

I like my job, although I don't intend to stay here very much longer. I took this position right after grad school, and I plan to use it to move on in another six months ago. I'm tempted to just suck it up and not say anything, to not rock the boat and just deal for a little longer.

But it chaps my ass that I'm considering letting her get away with this. I'm sure that Kant is rolling over in his grave. I know that I should make an example of this, that I should bring it up with the big bosses to make things Right and Good and Just. Only I really want to just make it all go away and come to work and ignore it, knowing I won't have to deal with shit like this for much longer. I feel like a heel, but I'm a heel with a job I enjoy and a greater plan that involves getting the fuck out of here.

What should I do?