Weeping For The Future

Let me start by saying I respect your right to smack the shit out of your kid. In fact, I support and advocate it. That's not to say you should actually beat him, or slap your 9 month old baby. But if you're six year old won't stop playing with matches, you need to go ahead and spank him. I don't see a lot of grey area here. I know a lot of people frown on that sort of thing these days, but we all somehow managed to survive with our parents laying into us once in a while. And let's be honest, sometimes we really deserved it when we were kids. So, discipline? You bet.

Nevertheless, there is a time and a place.

One of the things that amazes me about living in the city is how some people have a complete disregard for anything resembling civility. You see absolutely crazy shit on a fairly regular basis. It makes you wonder if they even care what other people think of them.

As I came around the corner at the entrance to my Metro station this morning, I saw a teenage girl screaming and yelling at what I guess was her daughter. She looked to be about three years old. It's sad how often you see things like that. The other day I was at the grocery store, and I saw a girl no older than about twenty with three little kids, none older than five. The woman was on her cell phone, yapping away, while the kids were wreaking havoc. After they finally got her attention, she put the phone down and unleashed a tirade of obscenities at the kids, in front of at least thirty people in the store. She then went straight back to the phone, once again oblivious to the kids. Now, I understand that mistakes happen. Lord knows we all do stupid shit when we're teenagers, and we all had close calls (and some of us got pregnant). So everybody deserves a get out of jail free card on the first one. But my god, if you can't be bothered with the kids then for christ's sake stop fucking! How hard could it be? Couldn't you have at least learned your lesson after the second one?

But anyway, the mom and the kid on the escalator.

They were standing on the metal platform at the top of the escalator, so they weren't actually going down yet. There are two down escalators at that stop, and I wanted nothing to do with that scene, so I tried for the one they weren't standing in front of. It was, of course, out of order. (As an aside, in almost two years I have seen all four escalators in that station working a total of two times) So I had no choice but to use the one they were using.

As I got closer, I noticed the kid was really crying. The entire front of her coat was wet with tears. I was listening to my ipod, so I didn't hear what was happening, but I imagine the kid was freaking out about actually getting on the escalator. And that's understandable. I see adults every single day who are absolutely terrified of them. The mom was trying to coax to kid on. And by coax, I mean shaking the shit out of her. As I got closer, I could hear over my headphones "get your motherfuckin ass on the goddamn escalator." Nice.

At this point I'm only a few feet away. Miraculously, the mother actually notices me. I've got no choice but to give the "kids will be kids" sheepish grin and try to pass them. But then the mother does something totally unexpected. She gets on the escalator alone, leaving the kid at the top, crying and blocking my path to the escalator.

I respect this move, it was one of my mom's favorites. My mom was the mom who actually did pull the car over to smack us. If I was at the playground and didn't want to leave, my mom would start walking towards the car. It's an effective last resort, and I can attest that it works. So, well played, ma'am.

But the kid wasn't buying it. The mom is rapidly moving away from us, and the kid hasn't budged. I have no idea what to do, but I know things are bound to get worse before they get better.

Exasperated, the mother looks at me and says, "Can you get her?"

WHAT?!

Look kid, I appreciate it's difficult to raise a kid who is only fourteen years younger than you. With my upbringing, I've got nothing but respect for what you're going through. But dear god, this is not my fucking problem. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of this, and I don't want to give you even a hint of complicity. This is your kid, not mine. Things like this are precisely the reason why people use birth control.

But at the same time, I feel for the little girl. If your mom treats you like this in public, imagine how bad things are at home. And escalators are scary, and your mom is lousy, and, let's be honest, you've got a long road ahead of you growing up. So it becomes, "Are you ready? 1, 2, 3!" and I lift her up.

Only she's not buying that either. She starts kicking her feet and flailing around. I try to set her down anyway, and she goes completely limp. She's not gonna stand up, and I can't put her down, and by now the mother is almost to the bottom of the escalator.

Out of ideas, I step onto the escalator and wait until it's taken off. Then I set her down next to me, and that seems to calm her down a bit. I help her put her hand on the railing, and ride down with her. Crisis averted.

I'm not saying I'm a hero or anything. I'd like to think any decent person would do the same thing in that situation. What kind of a monster leaves a three year old kid in distress? But I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

As we got to the bottom of the escalator, the mother doesn't even acknowledge me. She grabs the kid by the arm and drags her away. She doesn't even look at me, let alone say thank you.

Awesome.