$80?! You Have Got To Be (Blanking) Kidding Me!

Andray Blatche is a young kid who plays for the Wizards. He's long on potential, but apparently short on judgment. In the summer before his rookie season, when he was drafted right out of high school, he was shot in a carjack attempt gone wrong. You'd think he was the victim there, except it happened at 6am in Alexandria. I'm no detective, but something tells me that if you're getting carjacked at 6am in Alexandria, you're up to no good.

Now he is 20 years old, and he's a free agent. He's entertaining offers from teams, trying to convince them to give him millions of dollars. Last week, the Wizards offered him about $12 million but he's reportedly holding out for something better. Well, he was... until he made a trip to my neighborhood Thursday, where he was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover cop.

I was out of town all weekend, so I missed this when it first happened. Forgive me for being a few days late. But I find the whole thing fascinating for a million reasons. For starters, it happened close to my house. And by close, I mean next. Literally. Mapquest puts the distance from the arrest to my house at "<.1 miles." Had we been home, we would have heard the sirens.

Here is a rundown of the episode as quoted in the Washington Post blog written by Ivan Carter, the beat writer for the Wizards:

According to the document titled: "United States vs. Andray Blatche (sic), the event occured on 8/2/07 at approximately 12:11 at 10 Thomas Circle NW in Washington DC. Blatche and Palmer were both accused of solicting an undercover officer working in the prostitution unit.

From the document, here is how it went down: Blatche and Palmer were in a vehicle when they pulled up at Thomas Circle.

Defendant 1 (identified by police as Blatche) : "Hey, what's up with you?"
Undercover cop: "You tell me."
AB: I'm trying to see what you're doing."
UC: "Do you want (Blank) or (Blank)?"
AB: "Well, I want both."
UC: "And what about you?"
D-2 (identified as Palmer) : "I want the same."
UC: "I charge $80 but I do two at the same time."
AB: "Yeah, I'm good with it."
UC to Palmer: "And what about you?"
GP: "Yeah, $80 is good."
UC: Aight, you want to pull right?"
AB: "Naw."
UC: "I have a room right here."
AB: "Uh, ok?"

I want to get one thing out of the way right now: the hookers in Thomas Circle are banged up. So banged up, in fact, that you wouldn't let them pay you $80 to blank you. But that's neither here nor there.

What I want to know is, what is she talking about? I'm gonna assume that "blank" and "blank" mean oral and regular, if you know what I mean. Seems logical, right?

But what does "UC: "I charge $80 but I do two at the same time."" mean? She does two dudes at once? Or both blanks at once? Is she gonna finish one guy then move on to the next? I just gotta know.

And how that hell can that only cost $80? I honestly had no idea the hookers in my neighborhood charged that little. And I have no clever way to introduce this, but it's funny enough to include. I sent the link above to Baby, asking a question along the lines of "Did you know you can get all this for $80 in our neighborhood?!" Her response: "Why the fuck am I giving it to you for free?"